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How about a book filled with acceptance speeches for all occasions? It could be entitled “Be Prepared” (or something similar) and could give you either the beginning spark for a speech of your own or the whole thing verbatim.
It could include speeches for when you win:
President of the United States of America
President of some [...]
Perhaps a little bit morbid, but why not a line of T-Shirts that point out that life isn’t always perfect and happy? Won’t some people want “heavy” t-shirts just to point out the irony of it all?
Here’s a list of slogan ideas:
My doctor just told me I have 3 days to live
What does ‘inoperable’ [...]
How about a line of breath mints called Governmints?
“mmm bureaucralicious!”
“even bigger flavor”
“in incumbent or new challenger flavors!”
“made & approved by the FDA”
“take a bite out of big Governmint”
“only $1,000 for the trial size”