How about a book filled with acceptance speeches for all occasions? It could be entitled “Be Prepared” (or something similar) and could give you either the beginning spark for a speech of your own or the whole thing verbatim.

It could include speeches for when you win:

• President of the United States of America
• President of some lesser country (of your choice)
• Nobel Prize (Peace or other one)
• Smaller Prizes (Elk’s Club, PTA, “Best Dad”)

I did some preliminary research, here’s a text file with some awards I found:
award list

Why not make a collection of poetry that’s haphazardly created in modern spam email as the authors try to circumvent filters. It can be quite interesting. Like the cut-ups that Burroughs did.

From an actual piece of spam received August 30, 2005 by “Al Zamora”:

“Eskimos will marry the pediatricians. Disney characters sabotage the
directories of hard rock geologists. Square dancers compose lovely
sonnets about karate instructors. Rodents sicken technicians. Campers,
blenders and troglodytes all claim that screen dumpers hate to be mistaken
for aeronautical engineers. Buildings sabotage the directories of Disney
characters! Geophysicists surprise unwed mothers. The Texaco managers
insist that the electricians dance with reptiles.”

November 9, 2007 Update - Found someone who’s doing illustrations of SPAM subject lines. See it here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/linzie/sets/72157602417089145/detail/