Category product

Advanced Straw Technology

This one is an idea from the past, but it still hasn’t come to life yet. I’m sure a start-up named Sip(R) is right around the corner and will bring this into reality. Maybe with adverts or something, but alas, here’s the raw idea.

Ever been to a movie? Ever seen how large the soda glasses are coming? Ever joked about how big are they going to make them next? Ever then found yourself wondering how come you finish the super tanker of soda before the movie is even half-way done and you still are thirsty?

Well, your solution is the new advanced straw technology. One where your drink will never run out, never get cold, and you can switch flavors at any moment. How is this possible you ask? Well, with our new advanced straw technology, when you’re checking out with your tub of “buttered” popcorn, instead of a cup, they will sell you a straw. It will be an advanced straw. Not just a plastic (or now corn-based) plastic tube. Not just with a bendy part towards the top. But an advanced straw featuring a safety backflow preventing valve, and a proprietary locking joint at the bottom end.

Great, but where’s my cup?

No need. You walk to your seat and make yourself comfortable. Then you dock your straw in the matching proprietary locking joint in the armrest of your chair (you know, where the stone-age cupholder used to be). Once docked, the little led screen will appear letting you choose which flavor you would like, then just suck. Yes, just suck on it. And out will come your drink, plenty cold. And it will just keep on coming. No need to worry how much you drink. An unlimited amount of of your favorite flavors is at your elbow-tip. The credit card you have on file will be charged the amount of drink you have sucked by the end of the show. So if you just want a sip, you pay one price. If you want to drown your sorrows in syrupy goodness, you can another. And with special super-drinker club promotions, you can even buy an unlimited drink plan where each month you can drink a small portion of your overall allotment. Perhaps you bought the “drain the Amazon” size plan. Or “California is sinking” plan. Either way, you can just keep on drinking.

With all the advanced safety features built into the straw, you don’t need to worry about backwash, contamination or any of those needling worries you might have sucking nectar from an armrest.

But that’s not all. Given that we live in the world of smart phones and smart watches, instead of relying on a dinky 2 line LED readout under the arm of your Triple Goose sleeve, download our new app and you can mash up your flavors from our nifty app. Ever wanted Sprite Beer or Dr. Hi-C? You can now and it’ll all be served up in your nifty new advanced technology collectible souvenir straws. There’s the Straw Wars Episode VII straw featuring the return of Jar Jar Drinks. And don’t forget the new Alien Reunion themed straw featuring Sigourney Weaver’s scream that rings out every time you take a sip.

Aren’t you thirsty? What are you waiting for?

Box Bladders

I welcome the gradual shift from styrofoam peanuts to little bags of air cushioning my various mail ordered products. And though a one-size fits all product allowing them to just toss in more or less of the bags, it still seems like an incomplete patentable journey.

Thereby I came up with the idea for the box bladder. This would we a product jointly developed by the powerful Cardboard Box Cartel and the
Huffers & Puffers Union. Each box would have an uninflected air-bag like bladder inside when sent to Amazon or Cactus.com. There, items are placed in the box and after being taped, the person or robot packing the box hooks up an air hose to the valve recessed on the box side and fill up the bladder, snugly wrapping the contents in the box. The consumer, on the far end of the supply chain, could simply release the air valve (like a bike tire, inner tube or sex doll) and the bladder would deflate.

Okay, get cracking!

A Camera Reflection

As I think about the progression of things towards “free”, I keep running into instances where “if only they added another” becomes ever more likely/practical.

I was trying to take a good photo of my baby girl as she sat in my lap today. I was using my iPhone and everyone knows how hard that can be to take a good shot with. An earlier piece pointed out how eventually, which the ever cheaper price of displays, that they’d have displays on both sides of the phone and in this instance, I would have been able to see what I had in the viewfinder. But I couldn’t.

The photo didn’t come out all that great, but as I emailed it to my wife back at home, I thought for a moment that not only did the photo show little of my daughter and I, but it didn’t show much of what was around us. So my wife had no way of knowing where we were.

So I almost took a picture of what we had been looking towards at the time of the photo, which happened to be Treasure Island here on San Francisco Bay. But when I stopped myself from doing that, I realized that with the decreasing price of camera lenses, why doesn’t the phone just do it by itself?

The new iPhones have cameras on both sides, so that should be trivial, right? Just a software thing. But what about other cameras? SLRs? Doesn’t have to be the same high-end lense/photo, but why not just add a bunch of smartphone cameras to all sides of the camera? That way you could get context for your photos. The camera could somehow store them in a way that software on my computer could connect the two. Just as they have GPS coordinates embedded in photos, why not photos of what was on either side or behind me?

Never know what you’ll see as things move closer to free.

Living Plant

The world is growing with devices that sense and respond to data available on the interweb or the real world. And with the fact that we’re now closely connected to people we couldn’t be further apart from, we’ll need more and more ways to show how we’re feeling at any one point in time with people who can’t always see or hear us.

Short of going online and ordering a physical gift to be shipped in a physical truck by a physical person to their door, how about some way to solidify the virtual?

How about a physical entity you sit on your desk at home. Maybe a cute, colorful plastic “flower” arrangement that I can connect to my computer and select for it to bloom with daisies. Every morning the flowers would open, at night they’d close up to sleep.

So that’s still just me and my expensive flowers that never need to be refreshed or rebought. What about the virtual shenanigans? Well, have a friend send a tweet, click on a link, post their feelings on Facebook, whatever and voila, they could change those daisies to roses (to show their love).

Little plastic petals extending and retracting to show you a physical manifestation of their remote and virtual feelings.

Possible names:
– Pokesies
– iBouquet
– ForgetMeNots

Possible other products:
– A smiley face orb with changing facial expressions
– a little flag pole where different flags get raised
– a lamp where friends can adjust the brightness and color