How about a book filled with acceptance speeches for all occasions? It could be entitled “Be Prepared” (or something similar) and could give you either the beginning spark for a speech of your own or the whole thing verbatim.
It could include speeches for when you win:
- President of the United States of America
- President of some lesser country (of your choice)
- Nobel Prize (Peace or other one)
- Smaller Prizes (Elk’s Club, PTA, “Best Dad”)
I did some preliminary research, here’s a text file with some awards I found: award list

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